I am guilty of a sin so great I am finding it difficult to forgive myself.
I hated someone I had never met or never knew, I supported those who vilified her, and made such crass jokes about her that I look back now and I am embarrassed.
Kim Davis is and only is a clerk in a small office in Kentucky, thrust into the international spotlight because of her views on Marriage equality and her refusal to give out marriage certificates to gay and lesbian couples, citing the word of God as her reason.
To be clear I think this is bigoted, and believe the debate shouldn’t even be happening. This is not about gay or lesbian rights it is about human rights and equality for all. But I also came to realize the debate is even deeper, and is not just about marriage but about love. And those of us, who stand to defend the rights of equal opportunity to love, have in many cases displayed hate over that thing we are fighting for – love.
I am one of those who has hated.
I laughed at jokes about her background, made fun of her previous failed relationships, and even the way she dresses, talks and presents herself. I have been a bigot.
I have seen others who stood with me on the rights issue and incognito delivered messages of violence towards her. The gulf between right and wrong on this issue has not widened, it has closed dangerously to the point where we now feel the spit of wrath when each side speaks. Our vitriol has now matched those who declare themselves on the side of a God who apparently hates and will throw disbelievers into the depths of a fiery hell. Our side will however relinquish their side to a lifetime of incest and ignorance.
History has shown us that great moral victories have not come at the end of a sword or the passing of laws; instead great victories have come when we have loved.
Nelson Mandela forgave those who imprisoned him because to do otherwise would have led his people and his country into a civil war so dire in consequences we cannot imagine the outcome. But we can see his dream, in his book “Long Walk to Freedom” he wrote “No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
Kim Clark now sits in a jail cell – and I hear cheers and see Facebook posts of hate towards her.
But tonight I cannot be happy, a woman is in jail. Her views maybe wrong, but the system that allows her to stand as the sole denier of rights is just as wrong and maybe more so. Because this is an issue of love, and I am seeing very little love in this battle over people’s hearts and minds coming from the people we elect to represent us.
We cannot force our views on others, even when we know our views are just and true and filled with virtue. When we deliver these views with acrimony and disrespect, we get the same in return.
We must do what we preach – love. Fight for change with love, love those who oppose, love those who stand in the way and in that when victory comes the cost of human dignity will be less.
I leave you with one more Nelson Mandela quote “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”
I don’t want to die as a victim of my own hatred.
Namaste
