TEDx The Other Side Of Ego
https://www.youtube.com/embed/g72SmMdFBpk?si=6lUcXQZ9Sj1iBty5
No Longer Little
“Things are better,” I told myself. “But are they?” I wondered. It would seem sleep can never wipe away the bad questions from yesterday, so as I rose from my slumber today it felt like I hadn’t slept at all. My body ached from past defeats, and my soul wanted to crawl back under the
The Best Me
There is elegance eventually – to internal investigation – the path is a glorious blood bath of past inadequacies but the other side is like the aftermath of a rain storm – everything dirty has been washed away and the earth spouts with fresh blooms and new beginnings. I have found the path never ends,
Waiting for the Truth
Dear Robert I have come to find there is never a good time to say goodbye – perhaps because words can never describe the feeling of what it means to never see someone again. I know you forgive my mad ramblings and strange wanderings – so I will share with you since you have asked
Yoga Part III
Class 3 Yoga Or I’m Not Gumby Dammit ~ It would seem as a middle aged man, slightly overweight and somewhat opinionated I should have this Yoga thing down pat by now – but I am here to say I do not – yet. Last night was class 3, and I am now getting the
The All Clear
There is no cure for what you get when you are diagnosed with cancer. As I walked in one last time to my Oncologists office, there they were. Others who live in fear and bathe in hope that there will be another day. At the desk checking out after her checkup a woman perhaps 70,
Yoga Part II
Why oh Why? I wish I could tell you that I awoke this morning filled with a renewed energy from my first Yoga class – like an Angel swooped down from the heaven and kissed the top of my head lifting me from bed ready to take on a new day. But truth is, as
Yoga Part I
Dear Friends; Tonight I go off on an adventure that I may not return – yes I have started Yoga. I began to see how serious this might be as I entered the Lulu Lemon store to buy a mat. There it lay before me – 4 feet of thin rubber for $80 – this
Breathe With Purpose
Dear Robert; There are days I know why I stay here so far away from home. Some days it’s the weather – for a Canadian who has braved decades of the bitter cold the sun here is a ruthless seductress too. There are other reasons I suppose, like the connection I have to this place
Forgive
As I pulled up to the stop light I looked instinctively behind me in my mirror, there in the car was a pretty young woman gazing into her review mirror too – only it wasn’t to look behind, it was to look at her own image. I giggled for a moment as she moved a
Dance With Me
A dear friend messaged me this week, explaining he is signing off of Facebook. And asked that I write him occasionally, share some of my mad ramblings. Dear Robert; It would seem we are now looking back at this year which is ending, and seeing all that we did not do. I see the distractions that
The Beast In Me
It is so easy to find a reason that makes me right – and it is so difficult to accept myself when I am wrong. After such glorious news that I will deliver a Ted Talk, I found I let the demon known as my Ego loose again. At first it was tiny little private
Enough!
Enough is Enough! I have made bold statements in the past – used glorious words to decry ugly deeds believing maybe I was making a difference. Evil passing by again unnoticed, doing it’s dirty deed and all I would do was write. Today was different – today when a man I know deferred to racism
Calmness in the Chaos
As I woke this morning before the alarm, I rolled towards Marina – her eyes opened as I stirred and as we have been doing recently we asked each other “did you sleep okay?” Our answers are predictable recently “not great” we have been saying – our morning is the time when we measure yesterday
My Father
This is Eric Gravenor, my Father – standing on an air strip in England during the war. He was 19 here, but had enrolled years earlier lying about his age so he could enter service. He was in the RAF and started as a tail gunner in a Lancaster Bomber. During the war a tail
The Death of Antonio
I don’t like dusk I never have – it is where there is no escape from the ending of the day and the oncoming of darkness. It was late in the day last month when I sat beside a bed holding the hand of my friend Antonio when he turned to me and said “I
Ted Talk Announcement
This post has been 2 weeks in the making – perhaps because a big part of me doesn’t feel worthy to write it – let alone say it. I have been asked to give a Ted Talk next year in Florida. A few years ago before cancer and before I woke up to the beast
For a younger Friend
I saw a post by a 25 year old friend celebrating his birthday and asking for the single most important piece of advice as he gets older. Most discussed financial strategies or furthering educational choices, ways to secure his future with money and knowledge. It got me thinking about my 59th birthday coming up and
Child Dreams
As a child I loved to lie out in the open air at night and simply look up. A mind unleashed is a wonderful thing – it allowed me to see that which was not visible. I saw stars I believed were blinking back at me, warming planets that I knew must contain another little
Do More, Give More, Live More
I called a man today, to hear him cry. I didn’t call wanting to listen to his tears – but I knew it was inevitable. The man I called had been diagnosed with bowel cancer, and the cancer had moved to his lungs. I listened as his sobs grew stronger facing the despondency of his
The Greed of a Generation
I have struggled in the past few months, confronted by the crisis of truth. And that truth is – I am not smart. I like millions of others in my generation have made a franchise on our age and experience believing it made us smart, believing the innovations that our generation has created are beyond
The Obliterated Line of Journalism
For more than 25 years I was proud to call myself a journalist. I worked with people who were dedicated to two important ingredients of great reportage – be fair and be factual. Over many years we walked carefully and respectfully when reporting on the burying of victims, interviewing pained loved ones and we dug hard
Decay with Age
I have come to understand over the past year, I am no longer afraid of dying – I just fear decaying. I’m not sure how our existent clocks are handed out or how our fate is decided. Are we born with a predetermined lifeline? Or is it all by chance? It would seem while my
Virat’s endless smile on tour of Chennai
The amazing thing about India is that even with more than 1 billion people, you can’t just blend in and shrink away from existence. The country forces you to look at all those around and in turn allow them to look at you. Your flaws and frailties are magnified. A poignant moment happened when a
No Fear
I have died a million times inside my mind, yet I am still alive. I wish I could blame this on Cancer and the fear I lived through, thinking it would kill me. The truth is though, I have spent my entire life living in a fear that I created myself. Living in moments out of
Man in the Mirror
I spent much of my life avoiding mirrors. Those that I looked into, I only did so briefly, maybe to check my hair, see what I was wearing, or how I presented. But I never saw me. I have spent the better part of 6 decades seeing the reflection of the person I believed others
Finding the Love for Me
Why is it that a step backwards in my journey feels more like I have toppled off the edge of the mountain right before the summit? Backward steps in my life rarely are measured movements but more vicious descents into the cauldron of my ego. There is no good there, no redeeming values, no reason
Gracious Gratitude
In the last few years I have sat through the paradox of my life, looking behind corners for the hidden meaning. My constant search for what it’s all about – what am I all about? What’s my mission? What’s my purpose? Overwhelmed daily that I may be missing a piece of the puzzle that makes
Cry
My deepest pain is fueled by loneliness, the deeper it gets the more alone I feel. At times it swallows me whole and holds me tight in such a dark place that I cannot see beyond my fears. I have been residing there the last 2 weeks, full of grief for reasons I can’t even
Words as a Weapon
Those who know me well, know too well the wrath of my tongue or the speed of my wit. For years I have hid behind words; words are a weapon in my arsenal and I can dispense them with ruthless accuracy. However it is after those times, where I attempted to cripple the intended target